"Uncertainty": You Don't Say, Captain Obvious.
Uncertainty: The New Normal (Thanks, Captain Obvious)
So, the big brains over at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business are hosting these "Economic Outlook" events, right? One in Chicago, one in New York. The topic? "Uncertainties and Tradeoffs: Making Sense of the Global Economy." You can read more about the event in this article:
2025 Economic Outlook to examine an uncertain global economy.
Give me a break.
"Uncertainty" is the watchword? No freakin' kidding. You need a fancy business school to tell you that? I could've told you that last year for the price of a lukewarm beer.
It's like these "experts" are just stating the obvious, then patting themselves on the back for being so insightful. We’re all just supposed to nod along like they’ve dropped some profound truth bomb.
And McKinsey chimes in with their surveys, saying trade policy changes are the "primary disruption" to growth. Again, no duh. We've got tariffs flying left and right, geopolitical tensions thicker than pea soup, and everyone's scrambling to figure out what the hell is going on.
Is anyone *actually* surprised by this?
Tariffs: A Slow-Motion Train Wreck (For Us)
Tariffs: The Gift That Keeps on Giving (Problems)
The McKinsey report highlights that companies are responding to these trade policy changes, mostly by doing "scenario planning" and adjusting prices. Translation: they're raising prices on us, the consumer, and trying to figure out how screwed they are.
And don't even get me started on the "global reordering" of trade. The average US tariff rate supposedly surged to 29% before easing back down. So, what? We're supposed to be grateful they only screwed us *partially*?
Multinational firms are "delaying investment, reassessing supplier relationships, and rerouting supply chains." Which basically means they're passing the buck down the line, squeezing suppliers and ultimately sticking it to the little guy.
It's like watching a slow-motion train wreck. Except instead of a train, it's the global economy, and instead of a wreck, it's just a long, drawn-out decline into mediocrity.
Remember when globalization was supposed to be this amazing thing that lifted everyone up? Now it's just a race to the bottom, with everyone trying to undercut each other while simultaneously whining about "unfair trade practices."
But hey, at least someone is making money off all this chaos. Probably consultants who charge exorbitant fees to tell companies what they already know: "the future is uncertain, so pay us a fortune to tell you what *might* happen."
And what about AI? Sure, it might boost GDP a little bit. But McKinsey also says almost half the chief economists expect net job losses because of it. So, progress for who, exactly?
Offcourse, the talking heads will keep saying AI will create new jobs. But those new jobs will probably be some kind of AI-adjacent gig work that pays peanuts and offers no benefits.
WEF: More Corporate BS About "Solutions" That Don't Exist
So, What's the Solution? (Spoiler: There Isn't One)
The World Economic Forum says policymakers and business leaders need "greater coordination, strategic agility, and investment in transformative technologies." You can read more about their outlook in this article:
‘Uncertainty’ is the watchword among chief economists.
That's corporate-speak for "we have no freakin' clue what to do, but we're going to keep talking about it."
Let’s be real, what coordination? Every country is looking out for number one. "Strategic agility?" Sounds like a yoga class for CEOs. And "investment in transformative technologies?" More like "investment in making the rich richer while automating everyone else out of a job."
Maybe I'm being too cynical. Maybe there's some grand plan to fix all this, some secret strategy being hatched in the halls of power. But honestly, I doubt it.
We're just along for the ride, folks. Buckle up, because it's gonna be a bumpy one.
The Titanic Is Sinking, But the Band Plays On...
