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[Generated Title]: Layoffs and LinkedIn Updates: Is Your Company Already Spooking You?
Alright, let's get real. Another week, another round of corporate bloodletting. This time it's Verizon, hacking away 15,000 jobs. Biggest ever, they say. You know what else is big? The pile of B.S. we're supposed to swallow about "restructuring" and "competitive markets." According to Verizon Jobs Cut Biggest in Company History—Report, this is the largest jobs cut in the company's history.
The Fear Factor Is Real
It ain't just Verizon. Condé Nast, Amazon... the list keeps growing. And you think that doesn't trickle down? Give me a break. Even if you're at a "small" company, you're looking over your shoulder. Every ping of your inbox feels like a potential pink slip.
Rosencrans from HiBob says, "When uncertainty grows, trust and discretionary effort dip." Translation: people are scared shitless and doing the bare minimum to not get fired. Can you blame them?
And it's not just the big, splashy layoffs. Glassdoor says the sneaky, under-the-radar cuts of 50 or fewer employees are up. Fifty-one percent of total layoffs, apparently. So they can avoid headlines? Clever. Soul-crushing, but clever. Are we really supposed to believe this is some kind of new trend? I'd bet my last dollar these "rolling layoffs" have been going on forever.
All this "anxiety, insecurity, and resentment" they talk about... it's palpable. You can feel it in the office, even if everyone's pretending to be fine.
You know what else is palpable? My burning hatred for these stupid open-plan offices. I swear, if I have to hear Susan from accounting's loud phone calls one more time...
The HR Song and Dance
So, what's HR's brilliant solution? Transparency! "Share what you know, when you know it, with empathy." Oh, please. Transparency is corporate code for "we're going to screw you over, but we'll try to sound nice while doing it."
They tell you to focus on what's "stable." The company's "direction," the "values guiding decisions"... as if any of that matters when you're staring down unemployment.
Clarity, not promises. Right. Because promises are for suckers. Just trust us, they say. Trust your direct leaders. The same leaders who are probably just as clueless and terrified as you are? Got it.
Multi-modal communication! Live conversations, written memos, town halls... it's like they're trying to win an Oscar for Best Performance in Gaslighting.
But wait, who even trusts HR anymore? They're supposed to be on our side, but they always seem to be carrying water for management.
The New CEO's "Vision"
Then there's this Dan Schulman guy, the new CEO at Verizon. Ex-PayPal, naturally. He wants a "simpler, leaner, and scrappier business." Translation: fewer employees, more profits for shareholders.
He says Verizon relied too much on price increases. Like we didn't know that? He wants to be "customer-focused." Yeah, right after he axes 15% of the workforce. Good luck with that, Dan. How's he even planning to achieve this customer focus?
He's targeting non-union management, which is offcourse a start, but still... 15,000 people. Gone. Just like that.
Shares went up 1.4% on the news, by the way. Because that's all that matters, isn't it? The stock price. Not the livelihoods of actual human beings.
So, What's the Real Story?
It's simple: corporations don't care about you. You're a number on a spreadsheet. A cost to be cut. The sooner you accept that, the less disappointed you'll be. Update that LinkedIn profile, polish your resume, and don't trust a damn thing they tell you. You've been warned.